Follow the River by James Alexander Thom
My rating: 1 of 5 stars
I really really tried to read this book. I've been carrying it around for about a month, but I just can't get myself to want to pick it up. I'm sure it's a great story, but it starts out horribly and I don't see it getting better. On the first 10 pages a bunch of people are slaughtered by Indians and a baby is tossed around then his brains are bashed in against a tree. Seriously? I've asked a couple of people who've read it if it gets any better, and apparently it doesn't. It's just a sad story of a horrible experience that this woman goes through. Kind of like "Snow Flower and the Secret Fan". I don't think that her character really change, develops, or learns throughout the story. I RARELY, rarely don't finish a book, but I'm just not going to finish this one.
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Saturday, November 26, 2011
Follow the River by James Alexander Thom
Friday, November 25, 2011
I went shopping today. Did I stay up and go at midnight? Did I wake up and go at 4 am? No. No I did not. I slept in, got in the shower, and I think I ended up at Kohl's at 10:00am. But there was still a ton of great deals. And I got a lot of great stuff. Unfortunately, I really just kept seeing great stuff for me. I did get a great sweater and some REALLY cute boots for myself. But everything else was for other people, I promise!
My favorite part was the salad bar at Jason's Deli for lunch. Yummy. That is my new Black Friday tradition.
The worst part? Was it the traffic? Was it the crowds? No. No it was not. When I left my house in the morning it was 42 degrees so I was dressed appropriately. But by lunch time it was 82 degrees outside! I was so hot all day. It just didn't seem right. It's November 25th for goodness sakes!
Thursday, November 24, 2011
I had a great Thanksgiving. Lots of great food. Poor Oliver stepped in a fire ant hill and was bitten all over. Poor baby.
And Jerry got whiplash from playing football.
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Alright, yesterday I was just being ornery and selfish and I was just in a bad mood. Sorry. I think what triggered it was I was talking to my mom and she mentioned to me that these years would be or are the best years of my life. What, really? I hope not. I hope that there are better years in my future. I think these have been my most challenging. But that is probably for a variety of reason's, not just related to being a mom.
So, that got me thinking, what has been the best time of my life, so far?
I have to say, that for me it was Jr. High. What's funny is, today my friend Bridget wrote a blog post about how much she hated Jr. High (Middle School) I guess that I just had a totally different experience than she did. So I'm going to write about how much I loved it and you can see that every mirror really does have two faces.
I loved Jr. High. For me, it spanned from 7-9th grade. I went from being pigeonholed as awkward and weird in my elementary school to a new school with lots and lots of new kids who I had never met, and didn't have any preconceived notions of who I was. I found that fresh start so liberating. And also, the "popular" girls who had been mean to me in elementary school, were suddenly the new little 7th graders just like me. I feel like it put us all on an equal playing field. Another great thing that happened to me was I ran into two girls on the first day of seventh grade whom I had met and become fast friends with two years earlier at a summer camp. So I had instant best friends and a group to hang around with. Something I had never had in elementary.
Throughout those years I had the time of my life. I just had so much fun being silly and crazy and although I probably should have been worried about what people thought of me, I just wasn't. I'm sure I made a fool of myself all the time, but if I did, I didn't know or I really didn't care. I had great friends and found even more as the years passed by. These friendships were deeper and closer then I have ever had before or since. Ninth great was especially awesome. I had my first boyfriend, first kiss, first dance:
My dad wasn't around, my mom was busy with a new husband, and my sisters were busy doing their own high school thing, so I basically just did want I wanted when I wanted. My friends and I used to have sleepovers all the time and sneak out in the night to go toilet papering, or meet boys, or just walk around and do nothing. At school lunch I got to eat french fries and pizza or salad bar everyday if I wanted. I could buy candy and chips in the vending machine whenever I wanted to. Can you tell I liked junk food?. I got to take classes in the things I was interested in.
We would get dropped off at the mall or the movies. It didn't matter what we were doing it was just fun being us.
Now, I'm not saying that it was all awesome all the time. There were braces:
and girls who were hurtful, a broken heart, drama with my family, and most of my friends had their own drama at home too-that's probably why we were all so close to each other. But on the most part, I just had a great time.
Now, please don't think that I'm one of those people who is always looking back and talking about the good old days, or wishing to re-live them. I know that there are wonderful times ahead and I look forward this wonderful time. I'm just saying that if I had to take all the phases of my life and rate them from best to worst so far, I think Jr. High would be at the top.
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
I feel like I've been hearing a lot about Dreams, passions, and being your true self lately. I am a big believer in this, and to condense it all down to the simplest form- I think that only when someone is being their true self will they be truly happy. I think this includes following your dreams and passions. Life is too short to be spending the majority of it doing something you don't want to do.
The problem that I've had my entire life (and for some reason it's been on my mind a lot lately) is this: I have no idea what my passion is. I don't have a dream.
I really do envy all those in the clip above. They all know what they really love and want, they may not be living it, but they at least know what it is they want. I'm really getting tired of what I can only describe as treading water. I spend all my time doing busy work. Stuff that is fine to pass the time, but really not very important or of substance. I feel like Rapunzel does here:
I know, I know what you're all going to tell me. That I'm raising kids, and that it's the most important work I can do. I know this and I believe this-really, I do. But I'm going to be honest here, and it's going to sound bad. It is not fulfilling to me. If it was, I wouldn't be feeling this way. I'm not even sure what my point is or why I'm writing this. I know I just need to stop focusing on the bad and focus on the good, and most of the time I do that. But I think it shouldn't have to be such a forced effort most of the time, you know?
For a long time I would say, "well, I'm still young, I don't have to know what I love now. There's plenty of time" But even though I really still am relativity young, I'm getting older and still no further along in my quest then I was when I was 16 years old (12 years ago!). I wish there was at least something I could be doing to figure it out. All the books or articles I find talk about how important it is to go after your dreams or ways to make it happen. But because it's something different for every person on earth, there is no book telling you what your dream is. So that leaves me with only the process of trial and error. Which, as you know if you have kids, there is no time or opportunity for. I can't go back to school and aimlessly wander back and forth between 5 or 6 majors to see what is a good fit. I can't just start working random jobs to find it either.
Anyway, the point of all this blathering is that I am frustrated, because I have a problem and I see no way to solve it.