Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Tangled is making me think deep thoughts.

I feel like I've been hearing a lot about Dreams, passions, and being your true self lately. I am a big believer in this, and to condense it all down to the simplest form- I think that only when someone is being their true self will they be truly happy. I think this includes following your dreams and passions. Life is too short to be spending the majority of it doing something you don't want to do.

The problem that I've had my entire life (and for some reason it's been on my mind a lot lately) is this: I have no idea what my passion is. I don't have a dream.

I really do envy all those in the clip above. They all know what they really love and want, they may not be living it, but they at least know what it is they want. I'm really getting tired of what I can only describe as treading water. I spend all my time doing busy work. Stuff that is fine to pass the time, but really not very important or of substance. I feel like Rapunzel does here:

I know, I know what you're all going to tell me. That I'm raising kids, and that it's the most important work I can do. I know this and I believe this-really, I do. But I'm going to be honest here, and it's going to sound bad. It is not fulfilling to me. If it was, I wouldn't be feeling this way. I'm not even sure what my point is or why I'm writing this. I know I just need to stop focusing on the bad and focus on the good, and most of the time I do that. But I think it shouldn't have to be such a forced effort most of the time, you know?

For a long time I would say, "well, I'm still young, I don't have to know what I love now. There's plenty of time" But even though I really still am relativity young, I'm getting older and still no further along in my quest then I was when I was 16 years old (12 years ago!). I wish there was at least something I could be doing to figure it out. All the books or articles I find talk about how important it is to go after your dreams or ways to make it happen. But because it's something different for every person on earth, there is no book telling you what your dream is. So that leaves me with only the process of trial and error. Which, as you know if you have kids, there is no time or opportunity for. I can't go back to school and aimlessly wander back and forth between 5 or 6 majors to see what is a good fit. I can't just start working random jobs to find it either.

Anyway, the point of all this blathering is that I am frustrated, because I have a problem and I see no way to solve it.


Bridget said...

You'll figure it out, once the sleep deprivation haze has lifted a little. That's what happened to me. :) So the advice to give it some time is actually true. Seasons of life, remember?

Kathryn said...

May I suggest two conference talks from Pres. Deiter F. Uchtdorf that may help you, me, and all of us.

First, is "Happiness, Your Heritage"


and second, "Your Happily Ever After"


Create. Have Compassion. Pursue your dreams. Take time for [ Y O U ] . It's amazing what a little time for self can do. Best wishes!